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Grief versus Depression: What Are You Feeling?

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Grief and depression often share some similarities that make it hard to determine what you are truly feeling. There are times when grief and depression also co-exist, making the grieving process last longer. As such, it’s important to understand the subtle differences between grief and depression to determine if a person needs mental health treatment or simple support from others during difficult times due to loss.

We will discuss the subtle differences between grief and depression, including the different forms of grief. We will also provide you with information about whether grief can morph into depression, some resources to cope with grief, and treatment options available for depression.

Grief 

The Mayo Clinic defines grief as a “strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion for people, regardless of whether their sadness stems from the loss of a loved one or from a terminal diagnosis they or someone they love have received.” However, other types of causes may lead a person to experience grief. Some of the causes include the following:

  • Suicide loss: when a person loses a loved one to suicide, it presents devastating feelings, including shock, anger, guilt, and confusion.
  • Death of a loved one: this is the most common cause of grief.
  • Death of a loved one due to terminal illness: there are two types of grief a person can experience in this situation. The first is anticipatory grief, which is when a person knows they will lose a loved one in the near future. The second is the grief after the death of a loved one.
  • Divorce: feelings of sadness, anger, and behavior changes form part of the grieving process during divorce.
  • Losing a job or financial stability: represents the loss of income, which impacts their way of life and even their mental health, which may lead to stress. 
  • Losing a pet: leads to loneliness and isolation, especially when a pet is treated like a member of the family.

Other causes of grief include the loss of a home due to an environmental disaster, such as a fire or earthquake, unexpected or violent death, such as COVID or car accident, when a parent loses a child, or when a child loses a parent. There are also different forms of grief, including acute grief, integrated grief, and prolonged grief disorder (PGD).

Acute Grief

Acute grief is triggered when a person loses someone they love, involving distinctive feelings of helplessness and disconnection. The person focuses on the memories of the person they lost, which leads to sadness and physical discomforts such as uncontrollable crying that leads to shortness of breath or chest pain.

Integrated Grief 

Integrated grief happens when a person who lost a loved one adapts to the loss and continues to move forward with their life.

Prolonged Grief Disorder

Prolonged grief disorder is also known as complicated grief, and it affects 10-20% of grievers regardless of age. Complicated grief occurs when a person is unable to move forward after a loss and continues to suffer for an extended period. There is also a presence of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors due to the experienced loss.

According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, some of the signs and symptoms of complicated grief include one or more of the following:

  • Intense yearning or longing for the loss of a loved one
  • Intense feelings of loneliness or life without meaning due to the loss
  • Frequent thoughts of unfairness when they lose a loved one, or it feels unbearable to live without them
  • Concerns about how and why the person died
  • Frequent feelings of disbelief or acceptance that a loved one died
  • Persistent feelings of shock, anger, and bitterness, or difficulty trusting or caring about others
  • Experiencing physical pains due to the loss of a loved one or hearing or seeing the person they lost
  • Behavior changes, including avoiding visiting places or doing things that will remind them of a loved one

Some losses have a higher and more significant level of grief that often make people experience symptoms of depression.

Depression

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) defines depression as a “common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.” The APA identifies some of the depression symptoms as follows: 

  • Feelings of sadness 
  • Social withdrawal or lack of interest
  • Loss of appetite 
  • Trouble falling asleep or sleeping too much
  • Lack of energy and motivation
  • Problem with concentration, memory, or logical thinking
  • Unable to carry on with normal day-to-day activities
  • Feeling worthless, hopeless, and empty on the inside

People may experience some of the listed depression symptoms above when they are grieving, but there are subtle differences between both.

Grief
Sadness comes in waves, so it is not constant, but happens unexpectedly, and at times, it is mixed with positive memories from a deceased loved one.
Self-esteem is present despite the difficulty of accepting the loss.
Loss of appetite.
Trouble sleeping.
Physical symptoms include fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or gain, insomnia, and body aches or pains.
Focus on avoiding grief and fantasies of joining the deceased.
It can last between 6-12 months after the death of a loved one or a deep loss.
Depression
Sadness is constant, and it affects the mood.  There is also social withdrawal, and lack of interest which can last for more than two weeks.
Self-esteem decreases as the person feels worthless, hopeless, and empty on the inside.
Loss of appetite.
Trouble sleeping. 
Physical symptoms include chest pain, fatigue or exhaustion, aching muscles or joints, digestive issues, headaches, or back pain.
Being unable to cope with the pain leads to suicidal thoughts.
A person may feel it anytime, regardless of whether they experience the loss of a loved one or something.

If you or a loved one is at risk of hurting themselves or having suicidal thoughts, reach out to the Suicide and Crisis Line which is available 24/7 by dialing or texting 9-8-8.

It is common for feelings of grief to decrease over time and for individuals to be able to move forward in life without a loved one known as integrated grief. However, prolonged grief disorder happens when there is no transition between acute and integrated grief. On the other hand, depression is a mood disorder with hardly any links to grief as grief doesn’t have to occur for a person to experience depression. 

Can Grief Morph Into Depression

The relationship between grief and depression is complex, as both share similar signs and symptoms with the subtle difference in how long a person may experience grief. During a grieving period, people may develop depression and anxiety symptoms or turn to substance abuse. The above-referred study indicates that “30% of grievers will face a complication, such as major depression (15%), post-traumatic stress disorder-PTSD (depending upon the circumstance of the death), or complicated grief (10-10%).”

If your grieving period lasts for longer than six months (or 12 months for children) and you’re experiencing mental impairment for longer than a month, it is time to seek help. 

Seeking Help to Cope with Grief

The National Alliance on Mental Illness has the free NAMI HelpLine available Monday through Friday from 10 am to 10 pm ET. You can call the following number: 1-800-950-6264 or send a text to 62640.

You can find a GriefShare group near you. Groups meet every week, as well as offer video seminars with experts and support group discussions with a different focus, such as the journey of grief, challenges of grief, guilt and anger, and complicated factors. You can visit the griefshare.org site for more information. 

If you or a loved one are at risk of self harm or begin to experience suicidal thoughts, reach out to the Suicide and Crisis Line available 24/7 by dialing or texting 9-8-8.


Get more tips on coping with grief in our article: How to Cope with Grief and Loss 


Resources and Treatment Options for Depression

There are resources and treatment options for grief and depression which can vary based on a person’s experience or circumstances. You can consult your doctor or mental health professional for more information on what options will work best for you. Some of the treatment options involve a form of therapy, such as psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral disorder, or grief counseling. 

At the Alvarado Parkway Institute, we provide depression treatment for those struggling with symptoms of depression. We do everything we can to help you treat depression to allow you to live a happy and healthy life. We provide in person, day and evening hours as well as virtual services to meet the needs of our clients.If you are interested in learning more or want to begin treatment, contact Alvarado Parkway Institute today. Our trained call center staff is ready to assist you at 619-333-7050 and is available 24/7, or complete our contact form online for more information.

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