One of the realities of life is that everyone will experience grief and loss at one or multiple points during their lifetime. However, everyone experiences grief and loss differently, and there are different scenarios for those feelings to manifest. It does not only occur from the death of a loved one.
Learning about the symptoms of grief and how it manifests will help individuals become more self-aware of their feelings and find ways to cope with grief and loss.
We will provide you with some insight into what grief is and the physical and emotional symptoms you may experience. We also compiled some methods you can implement to cope with grief and loss, including therapy options for those who may require a little extra help.
What is Grief?
The Mayo Clinic defines grief as a “strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion for people, regardless of whether their sadness stems from the loss of a loved one or from a terminal diagnosis they or someone they love have received.” Compared to the American Psychological Association, the APA defines grief similarly as “the anguish experienced after a significant loss.” However, the death of a loved one isn’t the only type of loss an individual will experience.
Individuals may experience a significant loss in one or multiple ways, including the following:
- Suicide loss
- Death of a loved one
- Death of a loved one due to terminal illness
- Divorce
- Losing a job or financial stability
- Losing a pet
- Losing a home due to an environmental disaster, such as a fire or earthquake
- Unexpected or violent death
It is also a common misconception that individuals will experience the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed this framework about the grief stages; however, her framework only applies to individuals facing death due to a terminal illness or dying patients. The framework has been used incorrectly over the years as it does not apply to all types of loss. As such, individuals may or may not experience all stages of grief.
Based on the definition, grief and loss are universal, but the way individuals experience grief is different. Some of the types of grief include the following:
- Acute grief: Acute grief is triggered when a person loses someone they love. It involves some distinctive feelings, including helplessness and disconnection.
- Integrated grief: Integrated grief happens when a person who lost a loved one adapts to the loss and continues to move forward with their life.
- Complicated grief: Complicated grief occurs when a person is unable to move forward after a loss and continues to suffer for an extended period.
- Absent grief: Absent grief happens when an individual shows no signs they are experiencing grief. It often happens when a death or loss is sudden, and the feelings haven’t caught on to the reality of the loss.
- Anticipatory grief: Anticipatory grief is triggered when a person knows they will lose something or someone before it happens. For example, when a person receives a terminal illness diagnosis.
- Collective grief: Collective grief happens when an entire community or a group of people faces a loss that affects the collective, such as a war or pandemic.
We need to distinguish the complicated grief list above, as it keeps an individual in a heightened state of grief or mourning that will keep them from healing emotionally. At times, it may also be confused with depression—a mood disorder. Read our post “Grief versus Depression: What Are You Feeling?” for additional information.
Despite the type of grief you are experiencing, sometimes it may prove difficult to understand what you are feeling, so we will provide you with some of the common physical and emotional symptoms of grief to help you become self-aware and understand what you can do next.
Physical Symptoms
One common physical symptom of grief is body aches and pains, including headaches, shoulder pain, and back pain. It is due to stress hormones that may increase during the grieving period. It makes the body muscles tense up or contract more, and the lack of relaxed muscles leads to tension-related body aches and pains. It also contributes to digestive issues.
Some digestive issues include stomachaches, nausea, lack of appetite, being constantly hungry, weight loss or weight gain, and other types of stomach problems. Physical grief symptoms also lead to a weakened immune system. The immune system is responsible for protecting the body against germs, such as bacteria or viruses, or any other type of germs that may cause a body infection.
Another common physical grief symptom is a lack of sleep and, in some cases, insomnia. It can lead to poor performance at work or school and even mental health disorders, such as depression or anxiety.
Lastly, some individuals tend to over or under-indulge during their grieving period. They don’t eat well, which affects the body’s intake of vitamins and nutrients it needs to survive, while others may use harmful substances, such as drugs or alcohol.
Emotional Symptoms
Emotional grief symptoms include shock or disbelief, sadness, guilt, fear, and anger. Shock and disbelief often happen immediately after an individual faces a loss. Sometimes they feel numb or are unable to face the truth of the loss.
Sadness often comes in waves along with feelings of despair, loneliness, or emptiness. Others feel guilt about how the relationship ended, especially if it didn’t end on good terms. Grief and loss can also trigger fear in some individuals which may lead to panic attacks, while others feel anger towards the situation or the people involved that led to the loss.
How to Cope With Grief and Loss
It is common for an individual to seek privacy or to withdraw from others during a grieving period. However, it is important to find solace and express feelings as it will help with the healing process. Isolation is not the answer.
Find support from friends and family: Instead of seeking isolation, individuals can lean on the people they care about, such as friends, family members, or grief support groups. Spending time together will alleviate the grieving process. Friends and family can offer a shoulder to cry on, comfort you, and keep you company.
Find comfort from your faith: Different faiths and religions have different mourning rituals that offer a chance to mourn, remember, say final goodbyes, and provide closure.
Face and embrace your feelings: Many individuals tend to suppress their feelings and emotions. It ends up creating issues for mental health and it opens up the possibility of substance abuse. Facing and embracing your feelings serves as an outlet for your emotions that could be cathartic.
Practice self-care: Individuals need to take care of themselves by implementing self-care routines. Because grieving has similar symptoms to depression, individuals don’t complete normal self-care routines, including brushing their teeth, not eating or sleeping well, and not exercising. There are some self-care mobile apps to help you keep track.
Look after your physical health: The body and mind are interconnected, so when the body feels well, so does the mind. Individuals can walk around the park or neighborhood, practice meditation and yoga, swim, and ensure they drink plenty of water.
Maintain hobbies or interests: Maintaining a routine during the grieving period will help individuals move forward with their lives, and hobbies or interests will help keep the mind occupied while serving as a grieving outlet.
Plan for grief “triggers”: Grief triggers refer to memories, anniversaries, songs, foods, smells, or anything that will remind someone of a loss. These triggers may happen at any time and without notice, but individuals can prepare themselves ahead of time for certain occasions or situations where they’ll experience grief. Many times it surrounds an important date, such as birthdays or anniversaries. Planning ensures individuals have support from friends and family in advance of those triggers.
Remember that asking for help is always an available option, and there are also therapy options you can explore to help you cope with grief and loss.
Therapy Options to Cope With Grief and Loss
Because there are different manners of how an individual may experience grief and loss, there are different therapy options available to help you cope. These include cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, traumatic grief therapy, complicated grief therapy, and art and play therapy.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy with an emphasis on the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. CBT helps identify negative thought patterns that affect feelings and behaviors so individuals can replace these with healthier ones.
CBT is goal-oriented, and it focuses on problem-solving. It is also used to treat different types of mood disorders and mental health illnesses, such as procrastination, sleep problems, depression, anxiety, and grief.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) help individuals learn to accept the negative emotions and situations that arise due to grief to help them develop healthier patterns. By accepting negative emotions, individuals can distance themselves from these emotions to better understand them and focus on the moment. It helps individuals transition to a state of their grief where they can move forward with their lives after a loss.
Traumatic Grief Therapy
Traumatic grief therapy is used when a person experiences grief and loss due to a traumatic event in their lives, such as suicide loss or the unexpected or violent death of a friend or loved one. It focuses on stabilization, routines, and structures to help balance grieving emotions.
Art or Play Therapy
Art or play therapy is a form of therapy that uses creativity and imagination to help during the grieving process. Because art is a form of self-expression, individuals can use different outlets, such as painting, drawing, sculpting, or coloring as part of the healing process. Play therapy has a similar role in expressing feelings or emotions that individuals may be unable to express on their own.
Both forms of therapy are used mainly for children who experience the death of a family member, as children may lack the language skills to express how they are feeling. However, art and play therapy can also work for adults.
We understand that there are times when seeking a little extra help may be necessary. At Alvarado Parkway Institute, our mission is to help individuals who are struggling with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses by offering cognitive behavioral therapy and helping individuals live happy and healthy lives. We provide in person, day and evening hours as well as virtual services to meet the needs of our clients.
If you or a loved one needs help or extra support, you can reach our trained call center staff who are ready to assist you at 619-333-7050 and are available 24/7, or complete our contact form online.
