The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines stigma as “a set of negative and often unfair beliefs that a society or group of people have about something.” For years, there has been a social stigma involving mental health, and how a person who suffers from a mental illness is described as having a character flaw or failure. This is a wrong statement, and it is harmful to our society to think in this manner.
When a person suffers from allergies, diabetes, flu, or any other type of physical pain or illness, they are not suffering from a character flaw or failure. The same reasoning applies to mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety, or PTSD. These mental health issues can be treated and oftentimes cured. As a society, we need to let go of stigmas involving mental health by educating ourselves and seeking help when needed.
One common stigma we often see is people saying suicide is selfish. This is a false belief and one of the various misconceptions that surround attempted suicide. We will explain further why someone might attempt suicide and the misconceptions about suicide to show why it is important to stop saying suicide is “selfish.”
Why Someone Might Attempt Suicide
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that “suicide is a serious public health problem” and “it is the leading cause of death in the United States.” Furthermore, in 2020, “an estimated 12.2 million American adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.2 million planned a suicide attempt, and 1.2 million attempted suicide.”
If you know someone or you are someone in an emotional crisis who needs immediate help, reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 or texting HOME to 741741 (the Crisis Text Line). They provide 24-hour confidential support to anyone during a suicide crisis, or emotional pain or distress.
Note that suicide does not discriminate against age, gender, sexual orientation, or ethnicity. Even though there is no single cause that would lead to a suicide attempt, the National Institute of Mental Health mentions some risk factors about why someone might attempt suicide. These risk factors include:
- Mental disorders, such as depression.
- Chronic physical pain.
- Personal or family history of suicide attempts.
- History of substance use, such as drugs and alcohol.
- Exposure to domestic violence, including physical and sexual assault.
- Presence of firearms at home or easy access to the means to end their lives.
- Exposure to suicidal behavior from others, such as family, colleagues or peers, TV shows, or celebrities.
- Being a victim of bullying or discrimination.
The risk factors mentioned above increase suicide risk for individuals, but there are some other factors related to relationships, the community, and society that contributes to suicide risk, according to the CDC. These factors include a lack of access to healthcare, community violence, historical trauma, discrimination, and the stigma associated with seeking and getting treatment for mental health illnesses.
We should never underestimate the risk factors of a suicide attempt. As the CDC notes, “suicide is rarely caused by a single circumstance or event.”
Suicide is not a personal shortcoming, a weakness, or a selfish act. It is a complex phenomenon determined by various factors, including neurobiology, personal history, stressful or violent events, and sociocultural environments. We must destigmatize the misconceptions about suicide to show why suicide is not a selfish act, but rather a harmful misconception.
Misconceptions About Suicide
Many people often state that suicide is a selfish act. After all, why would a person want to bring unbearable pain and grief to the loved ones left behind? As a society, we need to understand that suicide happens in a moment of an intensely emotional or mental health crisis. When a person can no longer tolerate the emotional pain they experience, they may feel suicide is the only option to end their pain and suffering.
There are two different beliefs we need to differentiate from the above—ending emotional pain versus wanting to die. Many individuals do not want to die as it goes against their self-preservation instincts—the behavior to avoid injury and maximize chances of survival. Rather, what they wish to end is their emotional pain and suffering.
Many individuals who have suicidal thoughts are not able to find the resources that will help them live long and happy lives. As a result, individuals struggle with their thoughts and feelings. Oftentimes, their decision-making abilities are compromised, which can lead to attempted suicide.
People who may have suicidal thoughts greatly care about their families and friends. It is why they may feel they are a burden or that it would be easier for loved ones if they weren’t around. This way of thinking would not be considered a selfish act. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines selfishness as “seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.” Suicide is a final act, there is no going back from it, and it doesn’t contribute to the well-being of oneself. In addition, it goes against self-preservation instincts.
Lastly, society must stop underestimating the several factors we mentioned in the section above that may contribute to a person attempting suicide. When there is an underlying condition, it impairs the decision-making process for individuals as their emotional pain, or negative views of the future won’t let them.
Society must stop saying suicide is selfish as it is not a choice. Individuals do not choose to suffer from a mental illness just as they do not choose to suffer from physical pain or ailments, such as diabetes or cancer. Saying suicide is selfish enhances the stigma and discrimination that surrounds suicide and may lead to someone not seeking help when they most need it.
What to Do Instead
The CDC has some individual, relationship, community, and societal protective factors to protect against suicide risk. Instead of saying suicide is “selfish,” individuals can create coping strategies they can use to de-escalate when they are in an immediate crisis. Friends and family can offer support by being present, taking a crisis intervention course, or helping create a safety plan.
Suicide Prevention Resources
If you or a loved one is experiencing an immediate crisis, seek help with one of the following resources:
- 911 + Emergency Room
- The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline): call the three-digit code 988
- Veterans Crisis Line: Call the three-digit code 988 and press 1, or send a text to 838255
- You can connect with a counselor 24/7 with The Trevor Project. You can text START to 678-678 or call 1-866-488-7386
- Trans Lifeline offers peer support in the US and Canada. For the US, call 877-565-8860 and CAN, 877-330-6366. Press 2 for a Spanish-speaking operator.
- Alvarado Parkway Institute: Call our 24/7 crisis line at 619-333-7050
Our team at the Alvarado Parkway Institute also offers a variety of mental health and intervention services. Our well-trained staff is ready to guide our patients out of a crisis. Please do not hesitate to contact us by calling our 24-hour inquiry line at 619-333-7050 or completing our contact form.
