The holiday blues are real. Despite the general atmosphere of joyousness and celebration, many people experience the holidays as a time to “get through” rather than a time to enjoy. Family dynamics, full event calendars, and the pressure to “be merry” can make the holiday season particularly stressful. But sadness often creeps in, too. Here are a few reasons why:
Financial stress
This year, the average American will spend $1048 during the winter holidays. That’s a lot of money, and the pressure to spend it is almost impossible to escape. Everywhere you look, on TV, billboards, even in your inbox, the message is spend spend spend. If you’re using credit cards to spend money you don’t have in order to live up to the “ideal” in presented in advertisements, you may also be dredging up fear or shame along with your financial stress.
Social isolation
Maybe your family is far away, or maybe you’ve been too busy to maintain friendships over the past year. Whatever the cause, many people don’t even notice the absence of social relationships in their life until the holidays approach. Then suddenly, it seems like everyone else around them is spending festive time with loved ones, and loneliness rears its head. For those who don’t have close family and friends around them during the holidays, feelings of sadness and depression are common.
Emotional isolation
The holidays bring additional pressure to “connect,” which can be stressful for someone who is feeling disconnected on an emotional level. Loneliness is not always resolved by going to parties and participating in holiday events. A person who feels a deep sense of disconnection from others might find that this feeling is exacerbated in larger crowds or at family gatherings, particularly during this time of year when they feel like they “should” be feeling differently.
Uncomfortable memories
Physical environment triggers memories. The sights, sounds, smells of holidays past can have a significant impact on us in the present. Holiday nostalgia passes on from year to year, which is part of what makes this time special. But for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one or who suffered some kind of trauma during previous holidays, uncomfortable feelings and memories are likely to rise to the surface during this time of year.
Overscheduling
Most of know that we need to manage the stress in our lives, so we work to prevent it or mitigate it as it arises. But during the holidays, the importance of this is often forgotten because so much of what we pack into our calendars is meant to be fun and celebratory. We rush from one event to the next, make cookies, buy gifts, hang decorations, travel, get together with friends, and all manner of tasks that fill up our to-do lists and cause a great deal of stress. Exhaustion and stress are detrimental to a person’s mental health. If you’re prone to depression, these conditions can exacerbate your symptoms.
Unrealistic expectations
Television commercials pluck at our heartstrings and trigger nostalgia. This is deliberate, and most of us fall for it. Even if we’re careful not to make emotional purchases, we may subconsciously buy into the idea of what the holidays “should” look like. We see the happy families sharing buttered rolls and buying each other expensive cars. And when our real-life families bring their usual dysfunctions to dinner, or our children fight on Christmas morning, we may experience it as a personal failure. Unrealistic expectations of others and of ourselves increase holiday stress and can lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Your mental health matters. Be kind to yourself this holiday season.
If you’re feeling blue, start with good self-care. Try going for a walk outside, eating healthy food, and practicing relaxation strategies. Get sufficient sleep and spend some time with people you care about. It’s important to treat yourself gently and to seek help if you need it. If you’re struggling with holiday depression or anxiety, you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here for you. Please call us at 619-333-7050.
From all of us at Alvarado Parkway, here’s to a healthy holiday season—and beyond.
