Although almost everyone has moments of depersonalization throughout their lifetime, only a small percentage of people experience chronic episodes of dissociation. These episodes are often indicative of a dissociative disorder.

Because of their rarity and portrayal in the media, dissociative disorders are largely misunderstood. It can be challenging to know how to help a loved one struggling with this condition. Below, we explore several ways for you to offer support while simultaneously caring for your own well-being.

Understanding Dissociative Disorders

A dissociative disorder is a mental health condition in which a person experiences involuntary and lengthy escapes from reality. These episodes involve a loss of connection between thoughts, memories, emotions, surroundings, behavior, and identity.

There are three main types of dissociative disorders, including dissociative identity disorder, dissociative amnesia, and depersonalization/derealization disorder. 

These conditions often develop as a protective, neurological response to severe trauma. The following situations may cause the brain to separate a person from their body in an attempt to help mitigate distress:

• Abuse
• Accidents
• Childhood neglect
• Crime victimization
• Military combat
• Natural disasters

Even after the traumatic event has ended, involuntary dissociation can persist and cause significant disruptions in a person’s daily life.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Educate yourself about dissociative disorders

Due to the media’s influence, there is still a prominent stigma surrounding those with dissociative disorders. They are often perceived as attention-seeking, criminal, or violent, but there is no substantial evidence to support these stereotypes.

Educating yourself about dissociative orders can help foster empathy and understanding. Knowing the truth about what your loved ones are experiencing allows you to advocate for them and combat any misinformed claims.

Establish positive and non-judgmental communication

People with dissociative orders struggle with complex feelings that they often have no control over. It’s important to assure them they can express themselves to you without fear of judgment, even if you don’t fully understand their experience.

Providing validation and encouragement can help those with dissociative disorders stay within their “window of tolerance.” Reminding your loved ones of their strengths can positively impact their mood and the relationship as a whole.

Practical Support Strategies

Consider alternative methods of communication

Never underestimate the power of a written record. As people with dissociative disorders frequently experience memory loss, it can be helpful to keep a communication book or a digital thread of messages. 

This practice encourages open communication and helps fill in gaps/answer questions that your loved one may have after experiencing an episode of dissociation.

Assist with daily tasks and responsibilities

When you’re available, you might ask your loved one if they could use any assistance.

It’s important not to overly pathologize people with dissociative disorders, as they are still capable of achieving great things. However, there may be certain tasks or responsibilities you can help your loved one with to ease their stress or anxiety.

Remain calm during dissociative episodes

When your loved one begins displaying signs of a dissociative episode, it can be uncomfortable or disorienting. Depending on how their disposition and behaviors change, you may even feel overwhelmed or unsettled.

Nevertheless, try your best to stay calm and engage with the person you are experiencing in the present. It helps to remember that their dissociation is an involuntary coping mechanism that has been activated to help them process difficult feelings.

Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care

Set healthy boundaries

People with dissociative disorders and a history of trauma often have a difficult time establishing clear, healthy boundaries. However, your relationship with them cannot thrive without clear parameters of what is and isn’t okay.

Your loved one should know what is and isn’t acceptable regarding communication, physical touch, finances, housekeeping, and more. If you are confused about how to negotiate boundaries with your loved one and their multiple identities, consider consulting a therapist.

Engage in self-care

Offering support to someone with a dissociative disorder can be mentally and emotionally taxing. For this reason, it’s vital to engage in regular self-care. Remember that you are also a human with limits and needs, and you deserve a moment to step away and recalibrate when necessary.

Seek support from other sources when needed

Just like any other relationship, it’s impossible to meet the entirety of a person’s needs on your own. 

If you find that you need additional support when caring for your loved one, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, and mental health professionals. Sometimes, encouraging a loved one to seek treatment is the best thing you can do for them.

Conclusion

It’s not always easy to know how to support a loved one with a dissociative disorder. When you haven’t had the same experience as someone, it’s difficult to understand what they are going through. However, in order for individuals with dissociative disorders to thrive, they need support, empathy, and assistance from their loved ones.

As a friend, family member, or caregiver of a person with a dissociative disorder, there’s only so much you can do on your own. Contact Alvarado Parkway Institute today to discover how our compassionate, knowledgeable team can partner with you.