Pride Month takes place during June each year to uplift, hear, celebrate, and support the LGBTQI+ community and its sense of pride. It is commemorated in June to coincide with the Stonewall riots, which occurred in June 1969, that initiated the Gay Liberation Movement to combat shame and social stigma.
Each person’s Pride story is different and may be at different stages of the journey, but there’s no doubt that many members of the LGBTQI+ community still face traumatic experiences in this day and age. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), some of these traumatic experiences are due to “societal stigma, discrimination and repression, and rejection from family and community members.” Some even endure repeated trauma in daily life, including misgendering due to other people’s lack of understanding of gender identity and searching for and undergoing gender-affirming mental health care.
Some of the key findings from a survey completed by The Trevor Project noted that “60% of LGBTQ youth who wanted mental health care in the past year were not able to get it.” However, “LGBTQ youth who felt high social support from their family reported attempting suicide at less than half the rate of those who felt low or moderate social support,” and “LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not.”
Based on the survey, some of the members of the LGBTQI+ community are at risk of not being able to learn some of the positive coping strategies that will help teach them how to cope with trauma and shame so they can find their pride. Active support from family members and the community also plays a key factor in overcoming feelings of shame due to societal stigma.
Finding Your Pride: How to Cope With Trauma and Shame
The word pride is the exact opposite of the word shame. In its most simple definition, pride is having a feeling of being pleased or satisfied, having respect for yourself, and being proud of yourself. Pride invokes feelings of self-affirmation and uniqueness. For many, it takes time and many ups and downs to find their pride due to trauma and shame.
Note that trauma is a mental health condition caused by an event that negatively impacts a person, and shame is a negative feeling felt by a person due to sadness, embarrassment, or even guilt because a person may feel they did something wrong.
Traumatic experiences often lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Shame, on the other hand, is a negative core belief that you can dissect using self-reflection to create self-awareness and stop those negative feelings of a person’s self-worth.
Unfortunately, many LGBTQI+ members may choose negative coping strategies to cope with trauma and shame instead of choosing positive coping strategies to find their pride. We will provide you with some coping strategies to break down negative cycles and list what you can do instead to help you in your journey.
Negative Behaviors to Avoid
Results of a study published in the National Library of Medicine show some of the negative and positive factors across different domains that LGBTQI+ youth members face in their lives. Most of the negative factors from the study show they were related to the family, school, religious institutions, and community domains, which can lead to negative coping strategies. Learning about these negative and positive factors will ensure LGBTQI+ members learn how to cope with trauma and shame.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness listed the following negative coping strategies that “may provide temporary relief…but also exacerbate problems with maintaining positive self-worth.”
- Deny or try to change sexual orientation or gender identity. Specifically, when it comes to conversion therapy, which is a harmful endeavor to undertake for mental health, especially when the American Psychological Association has evidence that it does not work.
- Avoid the company of other LGBTQI+ people. It leaves a person with no support system.
- Suppress feelings or emotions (especially romantic and sexual). When an LGBTQI+ person chooses to suppress or acknowledge their emotions, sexual orientation, or gender identity to avoid discrimination or societal stigma.
- Having multiple or anonymous sexual partners. It increases the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease or infection (STD or STI) that may have long-term health risks or even affect mental health. A study even shows a link between multiple sex partners and depression.
- Develop a substance abuse problem. Drugs and alcohol abuse will affect the road to recovery and cause harm to the body in the long term and a person’s relationships.
- Suicide attempt. The risk of suicide increases due to mistreatment and stigma.
Positive Coping Strategies to Practice
The positive factor results from the study mentioned above come from the identity development, peer networks, and involvement of LGBTQI+ community domains. According to the study results, it is clear that further efforts must be implemented to reduce traumatic experiences involving societal stigma, discrimination, harassment, assault, and repression, to name a few. Visible and open support of LGBTQI+ people and the issues they face is a good starting point to cope with past trauma and shame.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness provides a list of specific positive coping strategies that will help LGBTQI+ people and the community. These include spending time with and building relationships with people who are openly accepting of LGBTQI+ people, engaging with LGBTQI+ organizations, advocating for LGBTQI+ rights, and participating in a spiritual affirming place of prayer or worship.
Below, we will get into specific tasks that you can perform for each of the positive coping strategies:
Spend time with or build relationships with people who are openly accepting of LGBTQI+ people.
It is the best way to find your community and pride during your journey.
You can join one or more of the many support groups in your local area or online, or even become a volunteer. Finding your community will give you the support you need during your identity journey.
Visit LGBTQI+-owned and LGBTQI+-friendly businesses in your local area. It allows you to receive and provide support.
Become a mentor for LGBTQI+ youth.
Engage with LGBTQI+ organizations, as many of them have different social and support groups such as arts and culture, community, and youth programs.
Advocate for LGBTQI+ rights.
The first step is to stay current about news and events involving the LGBTQI+ community to educate and motivate yourself. You can start by subscribing to newsletters from different organizations, such as The Trevor Project, Transgender Law Center, The Williams Institute, National LGBTQ Task Force, Services & Advocacy for LGBT Elders (SAGE), GLAAD, GLSEN, or the Human Rights Campaign.
You can also get involved by sending an email or calling the White House, your U.S. Senators and Representatives, your state governor, and members of your state legislature when issues arise in the LGBTQI+ community. Your voice is important, and it must be heard.
Make donations or attend events that help LGBTQI+ organizations.
Participate in a spiritually affirming place of prayer or worship.
Work on your spirituality by taking time to practice self-retrospection (examine your thoughts, feelings, and emotions) to help you create self-awareness (become conscious of your feelings). According to Duval and Wicklund, when you are self-aware, you can “objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.”
SpiritPride is now in its sixth year of providing workshops and a sanctuary concert with keynote speakers and poets who share stories about reconciling their faith or spirituality with their identity journey.
LGBTQI+ Resources
The whole purpose is for the LGBTQI+ community to feel safe and supported at home, school, and in their communities. If you are an LGBTQI+ member who is struggling, note that support is available. Below are hotline resources to help cope with trauma, shame, and questions to help you during your journey.
- TrevorLifeline: 866-488-7386
- TrevorChat
- TrevorText: Text START to 678-678
- SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline: 877-360-5428
- LGBTQ National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
- LGBTQ National Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743
- LGBT National Senior Hotline: 888-234-7243
- Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
LGBTQI+ individuals have the right to not suffer and receive gender-affirming mental health care. If you are having trouble on how to cope with trauma and shame, at the Alvarado Parkway Institute, you can find behavioral health treatments and support. Please reach our 24-hour support line at 619-333-7050. Our team of compassionate and caring Behavioral Healthcare professionals can help you take the first steps toward the care and treatment you deserve.
Sources:
- https://www.nami.org/Your-Journey/Identity-and-Cultural-Dimensions/LGBTQI/Trauma-and-Internalized-Shame
- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2022/
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4337813/
- https://sti.bmj.com/content/94/8/604
- https://books.google.de/books/about/A_theory_of_objective_self_awareness.html?id=zhF-AAAAMAAJ&redir_esc=y
