It is not always easy to build a supportive relationship with a parent who is going through addiction recovery. It may be something that both a parent and their child find unappealing, difficult, or even impossible. In spite of this, you’ll see that building a supportive relationship is actually one of the best things you could do. Not just for your parent, but also for you.
As the child of your parent, you play—or can play—a crucial role in your parent’s recovery. Understanding how to create an equally beneficial relationship is a crucial first step. Yet there is more to it than just an equal playing field. You’ll need to give the idea careful consideration before you start.
After thoughtful reflection, you’ll be able to work with your parent without feelings of doubt or resentment getting in the way. Remember, the goal is to get through their addiction in a healthy way with the best possible outcome.
Read on to find out how you can build a supportive relationship with your parent during their addiction recovery.
Playing A Supportive Role
The truth is that we all need support. Some people need more than others. Regardless, one of the hardest things about supporting a parent through their addiction recovery is the feeling that the relationship has changed—potentially forever. In the past, it was the parent who took care of their child. That was before addiction took hold. By the time your parent is in a recovery program, the roles will have reversed. The child is the one taking care of the parent. Understandably, this is another step that many children of recovering addicts may feel is too uncomfortable.
Here’s the truth: you can take that step. You have been there for your parent long before their addiction. The difference now is that it’s the final stretch. They will stand a much better chance of long-term recovery with the support of their child.
Educate Yourself About Addiction
If you are going to build a supportive relationship with your parent during their recovery from addiction, it’s important to educate yourself about addiction. After all, how can you fully support someone when you don’t understand what it is that they are going through? The answer is simple: find out as much about it as you can. This doesn’t just mean learning about what addiction is. It means learning how addiction:
- Starts
- Impacts physical health
- Affects mental health
- Is more than a habit, its an instinct.
- Affects relationships
- Alters personality
This may be something you already understand firsthand. Even still, learning more is never a bad idea. You can be much better support to your parent if you have extensive knowledge about the challenges, triggers, and indicators of relapse.
Practice Empathy
One of the hardest things to show a recovering addict is empathy. This may seem obvious, especially if you have never faced addiction yourself. In order to be supportive in this situation, you have to show empathy and be non-judgmental. Recovery is a struggle and it’s not something that will just happen overnight. There will be setbacks and problems. Moments will occur when one or perhaps both of you feel like giving up.
It is during these times that you need to strive to be as empathetic and non-judgmental as possible. When you’re able to show patience, compassion, and understanding—especially when it’s hard—you can positively affect their motivation to continue and succeed.
Have Open Communication
Open and honest communication is imperative when you are helping someone overcome addiction. Encourage your parent to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences with you so that you can continue to help them. You’ll need to actively listen and help them process their issues. The more transparent you can be with one another, the easier this will be all around.
Setting Personal Boundaries
While it’s essential to support your parent as much as possible through their recovery process, it is of equal importance that you take care of yourself. If you’re doing too much, you’ll become too exhausted to help. This will lead to further complications. Even if it feels like a selfish thing to do, you must set personal boundaries. By doing so, you can be as healthy and as helpful as possible at all times.
Identify Your Needs
Of course, knowing what personal boundaries to set can be a challenge in and of itself. That said, it is important to identify your needs. You should know:
- what’s possible and manageable for you when it comes to taking care of your parent, and
- when you need to take breaks for the health (physical and mental) of both of you.
Think about your time commitment, think about personal space, and think about how everything is affecting your work or other relationships in your life. Once you’ve considered all of this, putting personal boundaries in place will be easier.
Be Assertive
Self-advocacy is key to all things. A parent who’s going through addiction recovery is going to rely on you for support. It may be hard to let them know that you need a break, or that you have to step away for important reasons. This is why you need to tell them what you’re doing. Make sure to do so as assertively as possible. When being assertive, remember to:
- stay respectful
- acknowledge that you know they still need help
- assure them that you’ll be back
It is vital that you stick to your own self-care routine when you need to. Remember, setting boundaries is not the same as walking away. Rather, it’s often the best way to help someone in your parent’s situation.
Get Support From Others
Don’t think that you have to go through this alone. You’re not the only one trying to build a supportive relationship with your parent during addiction recovery, even if it might seem that way at times. When you remember this, things will become easier. One of the best things you can do as an adult child trying to support their parent through addiction recovery is to reach out to support groups, get help from a therapist, or share your experiences with others who will understand.
Some excellent resources can be found online, including:
You’ll feel more confident when it comes to dealing with the challenges this specific situation will bring, and knowing that you have somewhere to go when you need support yourself is invaluable. With this in mind, you’ll be able to help your parent in exactly the right way.
If you’re seeking support during a difficult time with addiction recovery for either you or your parent, never hesitate to reach out to specialists at Alvarado Parkway Institute. Their team of licensed and caring professionals can provide resources to help you through difficult times.
